The mystery of my constant waiting to live and living in wait was revealed to me a little tonight. After an intense session with a wise soul who explained biopsychology it made sense.

Mum waited for two weeks before she told dad she was pregnant with me. The sixth child. So this can be meaningful in different ways.

It is safer, life as I currently know it.

Just mum and me know, so for a brief moment, there was no intrusion.

Perhaps fear

Perhaps dread

Perhaps joy

But it was safer for the outside world  to not know about my impending birth for a brief moment. This could have impacted me in many ways.

I ‘don’t mind ‘ waiting for others. I wait for everything to be just right or ready before I do anything. My presence may cause disturbance. I wait for life to start before I live. I wait for mum to come home. I wait for permission to breathe-live-be.

I wait for love

I wait for success

I wait to breathe ( I hold it a lot)

I wait and

I wait.

Yet it doesn’t feel like I am out of time. There is an abundance of time now. Because…

I am enough