‘I wish I had the confidence to go on holiday alone..’
I blinked slowly at my friend going over her utterance slowly in my mind .  Do I truly have confidence?
When did this happen, I wondered.  It feels like I have always had it but it’s only in the last few years that I can genuinely say that my chronic anxiety is gone and I am no longer riddled with fear.

I’m really enjoying my own time and choices. I have spent a lot of time alone in my life of unusual jobs and child free adulthood but I am really beginning to understand what I enjoy and will make the effort to do. Before it was a matter of what other people want, waiting for family to join or decide or what running races offered our ladies group.

The longer I live the more I appreciate my life.
I love the sea, although I seldom swim in it. I love music and right now I’m being delighted by a talented busker during my wait for my timeshare to open.
I love buildings, mountains, desert, and yes, I do love people.  But holidaying on my own means doing my things without putting the needs of anyone else before mine. It’s a strange feeling but once felt, it becomes a stronger need.

Today is day number 1 of writing by the sea.
Exploring a town, never explored.  Feeling the light and energy of a new place and settling in for a midweek trip. 
Often on solo trips I start off overexcited at what to do first.  This enforced pause at the airport, eating my musical lunch is giving me a chance to settle.  To be in my now. 

Airplanes really excite me. My  5 year old self kicks in at all the ‘new’. The idea that in less than an hour,  everything changes, weather, vegetation, birds, air, people and pace. My mind still boggles with that buzz

So I decided to get a ‘writing log’ of this quick trip to the sea. Too long for a Facebook status but I do like to share.

My accommodation is a timeshare studio apartment right across from the sea. That was one of my requirements. I have a partial view but I can hear the waves and am quite sheltered from the wind. I explored the immediate area and bought some groceries from the little spar. One thing I seldom do is go out to dinner alone unless there is a restaurant in the resort.  I usually have a decent lunch and a light supper and that’s what I did today. 

My apartment is fresh and bright and is fully equipped. In fact I could settle in here permanently lol. The east coast seems to get dark early in the winter so I settled down with some coffee and listened to the waves on my patio.