Passion

I completed one of those playful online personality tests and my result came back as ‘Passion’. I laughed as I was expecting more like kindness; reliable or even wise-lol! I clicked away thinking it silly but it played in my mind just below my awareness.

You see, I have never thought of myself as that description because frankly in the usual aspect it is rather …well, lacking. However tonight I had an ‘Oprah’ insight as to of course my dominent trait is one of passion. I started remembering my younger days and how passionate I was about music, I became one with the music of Mike Oldfield playing wordlessly on my Walkman. I was passionate about my friends and their lives and loves and to this day, still am. I was passionate about my planned career as a nurse and the consequent travels to save the world once I qualified- neither of which happened but the life that did result was and is one filled with passion.

I worked in a world never imagined, which filled me with adventure, challenge, passion and my future husband in TV outside broadcasts. I made friends for life during endless road trips, phoneless waiting and remote towns. We traveled the length and breadth of South Africa and later the big wide world. But my passion remained and I am grateful for those carefree years.

I consumed courses and workshops, books and information about psychology, spirituality, energy and people. The human being both fascinates and intrigues me and I left my practical physical TV job for one of thought and contemplation.

I never, ever expected to become passionate about any form of exercise, least of all running, but it gripped me and opened me up to completely different forms of passion. I never knew that I could feel so belonging when doing a solo sport and it continues to delight me in learning more about my physical body in all its sweaty glory.

The Internet too became a form of passion. At last- a place where I can ask anything and everything and get answers. My inquiring mind will never be satiated and I love the instant access to wisdom. Facebook became my refuge for days (and nights) alone. The virtual love felt on birthdays, sad days and down days don’t quite make up for the ‘real ‘ thing but it certainly fills a void for me in my world where I am passionate about connection.

So just maybe the playful test was right after all as the realisation hits that I have lived a life filled with and in constant search of – passion!

 

Want some sugar, honey?

It has been a strange but interesting time for me these past two months. I have been on a sugar and carb restricted diet. For no particular reason other than I wanted to try it. This in itself is a huge statement for me because all my life, I have protected my sugar need with a ferocity that is quite unlike me. I needed sugar, I loved cake, took comfort from chocolate and reward from biscuits. How could I live without it? Movies and documentaries, books and articles all screamed the dangers of my indulgence yet I defended myself carefully. The thought of living without it petrified me as it had become my joy, my luxury.

So on a Monday morning ¬†(naturally) in December, I started saying no to English tea and yes to herbal. I have slowly come off carbs in the past two years apart from the odd sandwich which was always an easy meal when hubby was around. I cut right back on my one-time favourite food, pasta in a slow process because the ‘garlic’ gave me really bad wind. For me, the low carbs was easy but there was a part of me that really doubted parting with my white stuff.

I didn’t want it to be a big deal or get any excessive attention so I didn’t say anything to anyone. After a few days, hubby asked and I told him I was cutting down, not giving up, sugar. I don’t want to feel restricted or pressurised by guilt when I do eat my old way. I got through the Christmas season relatively unscathed and I found myself looking at my Woolies treats and really feeling my body to see what it wanted. I must admit surprise when it went ‘nah, don’t feel like it’.

So now a good few weeks later, I am still enjoying myself. I do have a sweet fizzy drink after a run but even that is waning. For the first time in my adult  life, I know what it feels like to be full and not bloatec and that is the most surprising thing of all.

So here is to a healthier me! Roll out the sugar barrel