I have always been afraid of change, yet it is unavoidable. At the age of 5 my life changed -for the better- when our clan moved to South Africa. Yet, I recall crying and pleading with God in my nightly prayers ( I prayed then) to take me back to our dark tenement house in a cold, damp Glasgow. I now put the young pining down to the radical changes in my life, plus I had a new baby sister. Life continued to throw changes at me , some subtle and some brutal. No one is immune to change, it is natural and necessary. Day into night and months into years, change affects all of us.

This week I faced two memorials and a move. Two of the events affect my direct neighborhood and the second memorial was an ex colleague. He was a gentle,  funny soul who loved plants and was dedicated to his job in the audio field in TV. The first memorial was one of our neighbours who lost his life to cancer. Again, I was reminded just how much a person can affect my life in small ways, in neighbourly passings and jokes, I realised that are now over.

Then our dear neighbours moved out, on their way to retire in a small town in KZN. This move shifted me in subtle ways as we have known them to be there for the 27 years we have lived in our house.  I will miss them probably more than I realise as I struggle to hold onto the familiar and secure. Our neighbours behind are also new, as well as their neighbours. There hasn’t been as much movement in our hood at the same time since… well, ever.
Just like the purple carpet on the pavements indicating the end of Jacaranda season, everything changes and shifts. I am still learning to move with the shift and not hold on so tightly. I am a work in progress and I suppose I always have my good memories to console myself.

Fare thee well, familiar!

Dos months

I have been back from Spain almost two months and in many ways I feel different, yet not. It feels like I have never been away yet I am still lost in the calendar space of 2016 which is thundering its way to the finish.

I am still grateful for my lovely bed and own bathroom yet extremely conscious of closing the tap while brushing my teeth as a drought grips my country. I am almost ‘normal’ when it comes to my clothes wardrobe and look at the many options instead of my customary walking clothes. I am still enjoying my option of driving anywhere instead of walking and listen to my GPS with curiosity instead of searching for the yellow path indicators.

I recently gave a talk on my Camino experience, for my friends and interested parties and while preparing the slides, I was amazed by the beauty and the experience of it all. In some ways it feels surreal, yet momentary memories find me remembering places and people that I thought were gone forever. It is like a huge jigsaw puzzle in all its magnificent glory and I love puzzles- plus I am good at them.

I was fortunate to spend a few days with my overseas sisters on their trip to visit our dad and I felt different in subtle ways. I was not only a tour guide this time but put more of pleasing myself into the time. We explored the city differently and then I realised that there are shifts inside myself and that can only be a good thing.

I love being a work in progress!